My Dad's 3 Jokes

My Dads 3 Jokes

My Dad never really told jokes that can remember. He had 3 that he used and they were the only ones I can remember that he told, they were his old stand by jokes. I remembered this when I realized I had about 3 jokes that I always use.

My Dads first joke was: What did the baby ducks say when they saw their mom next to an orange? Look at the orange marma laied.

The second joke was: God made her face, she picked her nose. This was his off color joke. This joke had gotten him kicked out of a collage English Class. He had put it around the bottom of a sweat shirt and the teach did not like it.  Dad’s brother told us kids about him getting kicked out of class. 

The third joke he had was: What is an expert?     X marks the spot and  a  spurt is a drip under pressure.

I not going to tell you what my 3 jokes are!  8-)

Dog Watch and Beer

The dog (Bosco) and I had been drinking the new back of Dark Nut Brown Ale that was aged and ready to drink that I had made. I was a gray rainy day and it would not be a nice day to go out on the water. Bosco would go…he does not mind the rain when we are on the boat if the Bimini is up. He just positions himself under the middle of it.

Our discussion turned to how the watches were set up. Bosco felt that it was not right there were two DOG WATCHES back to back. I tried to tell him there were just two watches that were ½ as long as the other watches and if you were on a watch you were off the next. Yes they were back to back, but a crew member did not get stuck doing both of them. That way each crew member did not get the same watch day after day. 

Bosco still did not think it was fair they were called Dog Watches. He felt better when I told him that the best part of the dog watch was it was Kerr Tailed early. At that we both had another beer and watched the rain come down.

boat mildew...

I saw a little write up on a couple of products I want to try on my boat. Down here is South Florida mildew inside a boat that is shut up can be a real BIG PROBLEM. I have to wash down the inside of my boat about every 4 months just to keep a handle on it.

The 2 products I want to try is 3M mildew blocker  and the 3M mildew stain remover. What I have been using is a wipe down or scrub down wash with ammonia, then a rinse well with water then a quick wipe down with bleach water. The ammonia kills the mildew, and the bleach removes or bleaches out most stains. I let the bleach water just dry and not rinse it off and it helps prevent the mildew from growing back. A low watt light bulb left on inside the boat also helps keep mildew from growing when the boat is shut up.

The 2 3M products is supposed to make mildew clean up easy so I want to try it. I just keep forgetting to buy it. Must be Old age on my part.

You may need a Jack Line on your Boat

Jack Lines

A jack line is a safety line you string up on your boat that you attach the safety that is attached to you to so you cannot be washed overboard in bad weather. You need string the jack line to solid cleats or things that are well bolted down…..that would support your weight. It should also be where you can clip to it easily, It is nice to be able to lip to it while you are still in the boat hatch way where you still have something to hold on to before coming out. You need more than one jack line. One line that is in the cockpit and one that runs up each side of the boat. If you have to go to the front of the boat always hook to the jack line on the high side of the boat. You need to have lines that you can use for jack lines on the boat at all times. Weather is unpredictable.

Been in Florida To Long

I think I have been in Florida to long. We just had a cold front come through and the temperature outside in in the high 50s and I need a parka to go out in it. The temperature inside the house is 71 degrees and I cannot get warm. Hot coffee, hot soup, heating pad…these help but I am still cold.

I put on a T-shirt, a long sleeve flannel shirt, and a sweatshirt, with long paints and I was still cold. I was pleased when the dog and two cats got on the couch with me. We all were sharing our body heat, and they did not even mind when I put a blanket around us.

The news was showing the truly cold weather the north east is having, and I remember that type of weather as a kid up in Ill. and Ind. in the winter. I do not miss it. When the family would go to the lake house in the winter, I remember an ice sheet in the toilet of the one bathroom that was on the outside wall of the house. No one wanted to use that bathroom. My brother said the first one to use the toilet in the morning could freeze to it! I was afraid of sticking to the toilet seat so some other family member had to use the bathroom before I would. I also remember mom putting a lot of food out on the porch to keep cold so she could have more room in the refrigerator. Things like soda pop, beer, cheese, and butter all went in a cooler on the porch. If it was going to get real cold, the cooler lid was closed.

I did make a little money by shoveling the snow for the two old ladies that lived down the street. I did not find out till I was older that my Mom was the one that paid me for doing it, she wanted to help the old ladies.

I also remember come spring the mega tuffs of grass in the back yard when the grass started to grow. These were the poop areas where the dog did it on the snow. With two dogs the back yard always had lots of brown and yellow snow spots.

All this talk about cold has made me even colder…Guess I will get another coffee but a little Irish coffee this time.