Cheap As... Toilet Paper

The toilet paper that you need to use with a boat toilet must be able to breakdown easily so it will go through the boat plumbing to the holding tank and so it can be pumped out of the holding tank. The TP often is a one ply paper and is not soft and plushy like many brands of TP.

After living on board a boat for a number of years, the TP was not a big deal.  When we moved on shore to a house with a septic tank system, we did not change the TP because we figured it would be better for the septic system to breakdown the one ply TP. It was not a big deal.

When my sister came to visit us at our on shore home (She never visited us when we were on the boat) it was an experience my wife and I had not expected. We had moved into the house a few months before. The previous owner had a child, and the one bedroom had little kid curtains on the window. We had left them up, and it was our guest bedroom and we did not use it for much anyway. She took down the kid curtains, made a list of window treatments we needed to get, re arranged the bathroom at that end of the house and told us how the minimal furniture we had should be arranged. We both could hardly wait till she had to go home.

When she told me in an undiplomatic way that I did not need to bring CHEAP AS… TP home form my job for the bath room and I should buy my own TP. My wife and I were dumbfounded. When my wife told her that she had bought the TP, that it was the type we used on the boat and that it was the type recommended for septic tanks, my sister just looked at us as if we were crazy. She said that she had bought “real TP” for us and we could put what we had back on the boat.

When she comes to visit now we put “real TP” in the back bathroom for her. 8-) The guest bedroom still has no curtains, it is the “cat” room now and the cats destroy any window curtains in the room. That’s our story and we stick to it. (Thank you Cats!)

Every time we have to change a roll of TP we think of “Cheap As…TP” and smile. 8-)

I found the perfect Gift for my sister...A FISHING REEL  TP holder for REAL TP. 

Cockpit floor mats

I have a wonderful 21 foot sloop made of fiberglass. The cockpit of the craft is above the water level and water that does slosh in self-bails through the scuppers. Still, anything on the floor of the cockpit will still get wet and may sit in a puddle.  The wood schooner I built has wood slats that make its floor flat and keeps everything off the bottom of the boat and more or less dry. I thought it would be nice to have the same in my sloop. What I came up with was a wood slat mat that rolls up, is easy to clean and easy to store. 

I started with 1”x 2 x 8’ stock pine boards. Stock dimensional lumber is actually smaller than what it is sold as. It is more like ¾ “x1 ½” x 8’. My cock pit is 25” wide, so I was able to get 4 slats out of every 8’ board.

After cutting my slats to length, I drilled a hole 4 inches from the ends of each slat through the ¾” side of the slat. The size of the hole was just larger than the size of nylon cord that was to go through them. I made a wood mat by first threading the cord through the hole in the first board and tying a knot so it would not pull back through. Then I tied a second knot on the other side of the hole.  Next, you thread the long string end through the next hole and tie a knot. By stringing the slats together with a knot between each slat you can make a flexible wood mat as long as you need it to be. When you get the length you need, run the cord to the other side of the mat and tie them together in the same knot slat knot way but going in the reverse direction. You end up with a wood mat that can be rolled up.

The cock pit matt rolls in to place when you are ready to go out. The wood mats look nice, keep things off the floor, let’s water run through to the scuppers, and is easy on the feet. Cleanup is easy with them. You just roll it up, hose it off and hang to dry. They store in the rolled up position. They look very nautical and they are cheap to make. The also make great door mats. It is unreal how much dirt they will trap and keep out of your house.

 Mats can be hosed off and hung to dry. Different sizes are easy to make. Odd shape mats can be made. This one goes in a small storage locker. 

They make good doormats also.

The mats role up for storage and they are easy on the bare feet.

Three Gift Ideas for Fisherman

Fishermen are easy to get gifts for. There is so much “stuff” to pick from and they are in all price ranges. Three gift ideas that a fisherman can use and that provide safety are a boat compass, a VHF radio and a Fish Finder. Each of these are standalone instruments, or can be used together, all have wide price ranges, and all provide safety to the boater.

A boat compass is almost a necessity. On open water there are no landmarks to tell you where north is. You can get lost when you get caught up in fishing in unfamiliar areas and are not sure which way you came in. A compass can help tell you and you do not have to admit to anyone you were lost.

A VHF radio is also an almost necessity to have. A cell phone is good, but on the water there may not be a cell tower close for a good signal. The VHF radio signals are monitored by the Coast Guard for maydays and cell phones are not. If you have a VHF radio and a GPS and they are interfaced you can have DSC (distress call) functionality. When you give a mayday call the Coast Guard gets your location from the GPS automatically. The radio lets you talk  with draw bridge attendants , other boaters, Coast Guard, and get weather updates just to mention a few.

A Fish Finder is fun and functional instrument. Most fish finders are now multifunctional instruments, not just fish finders. A basic fish finder can help locate fish, show obstacles in the water so you do not run over them, and the bottom depth. Combo GPS / Fish finders will help you find the fish as well as help with navigation. The GPS lets you store good fishing locations in the memory as well as how to get there and back home. 

I like two for items. When something is useful and provides safety, it should get a 3 star rating. The compass, the VHF radio, and a Fish Finder are all three star items.      

Cannon Want

I saw on the news last night about someone shooting a cannon ball through a neighbor’s house. It went clear through the house, but they did not say where it landed after that. There was some good photos of the holes it made.

As a kid I always liked pirates and buccaneers. The movies I liked were ones with the swashbuckling hero’s and ones that had cannons in them. When I was in high school, my family moved out of town to a farm house in the country. Jeff, a school classmate lived just down the road and we became school bus riding friends and buddies. One afternoon he invited me over to fire a black powder, cap and ball pistol, his dad had given him. I was hooked on the smoke and noise and smell with just one shot.  Jeff’s dad ran a hardware store that had all the stuff that was needed, and I wanted one. My dad said NO WAY; I did not need or have a use for one. He was right, but I still wanted one. To work around it, I bought the supplies and Jeff and I used his pistol.

After I got a boat, I wanted to have a cannon on it, just in case I ran in to pirates. 8-) It was just a thought that jumped in and out of my head off and on for years. Every time there was a pirate festival or event I would get the Cannon Want. When I lived in Key West I saw a small cannon that was about 20 inches long at a cafe and fell in love with it. Now it was my wife that said NO WAY! Her point was it was too heavy for the boat.  She was right about that.

I took pictures of the cannon and tried to make a replica of it. It was OK but it did not look right up close and it did not fire. I still wanted a cannon.

After I built our schooner I got the Cannon Want again after a pirate festival in Ft Myers Fl. A cannon would really look good on the boat at the next pirate festival. That little evil idea floated in my head for weeks. I went to the net and found cannons are not cheap but could be had. I found a fully functional 1/10^th scale, brass 24 pounder naval canon kit that was affordable. 

I bought it and put it together. It is one attractive cannon. The cannon looks nice on the boat. There is no way I would fire it. The cannon is not much bigger than the cap and ball pistol I shot as a kid and that had a wonderful kick to it. To tie the cannon down and the fire hazard to the wood and the sails is something I would not even want to contend with. It does look impressive.

I have thought about a larger yard cannon that would fire golf balls, but my wife said NO WAY to that also.  It would drive the head of our neighborhood watch guy and our next door neighbor crazy, so there still may be a chance for that. 8-) 

Here is the address about the cannon ball shot.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2070977/Mythbusters-crew-shoots-cannonball-HOUSE-van-stunt-goes-terribly-wrong.html

The Cannon looks great on the boat, and it could shoot 1/2 inch musket balls.

Extra Spring left over after it is put back together!

 When I finish working on something and I have an extra screw left over, I always try to figure out where it should have gone and if it could be important. Then there is the decision to disassemble to find where it goes or try it to see if it works OK without it. ­­

At times like these I remember a story that a co-worker told me about a ball point pen spring. The hospital where he was working at the time had a new CAT scan machine that was having a major service done to it. Two factory service men spent all day disassembling and working on the machine. They had laid out all the parts on a table like an exploded diagram in a service manual. They went home and were to reassemble the unit the next day. The co-worker said he was just looking over all the parts when he saw 3 springs that looked like springs from a ball point pen. He took apart his ball point pen and set the spring from the pen next to the other 3. All were the same. As a joke he left the spring there.

The service men returned the next day and started to re assemble the machine. Then they disassembled it again looking for where they had left the spring out. They spent over 8 hours trying to find where it came from. The co-worker figured if the hospital ever found out he would be fired and probably have to pay for the extra labor time.

The story was funny after the fact, but I have sympathy for the service guys, and it is too bad he had not been caught.

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My wife is an excellent mechanic, and when she takes something apart, she lays it out like an exploded diagram. She is up-tight till it is back together. When I see her parts all laid out I think of the spring story and get a passing thought of adding a spring or screw to the parts. If I did she would find an evil, non-fatal way of getting me back. Just thinking about it is more than enough fun.

Inexpensive boat protection...a fender board.

Keeping your boat from bouncing off a dock piling while moored can be a problem. I have seen some very creative ways of tying boat bumpers to boats and pilings to solve the problem. An easy fix is to use a simple fender board. Two boat bumpers and a board is all that is needed.

Women are more creative when it comes to tying boat bumpers to boats and docks and coming up with things to use as bumpers. Some that I have seen were elaborate and they worked to prevent boat damage.  One of the most impressive bumpers was one made from a large mesh bag filled with capped plastic bottles. There were soda bottles, water bottles, juice bottles, and any plastic bottle she could find. She called it her recycled green boat bumper.  It did work well, but the crackling crunching sound was unreal. It worked so well that the rest of us near her boat gave her bumpers so she would retire her crackling one. She was not so dumb.

To make a bumper set-up that protects the boat from a piling, all you need is two standard boat bumpers and a board.  The bumpers are attached to the boat so they would be on either side of the piling. A board that is longer than the distance between the two bumpers is hung over them so the ends of the board rest against the bumpers and the middle rests the piling. The boat can move a little forward or backward and up and down and the board rubs the piling and the board is kept off the boat by the spaced bumpers.  It is cheap and it works and it is quick to set up.

First find a board to use as a fender.  Drill two holes in the board, one at each end of the board. Tie a line through each of the holes. These lines will be used to tie the fender board to the boat. Next tie two regular boat bumpers to the boat, so they would be on either side of where the piling would rest on the boat. Now tie the fender board to the boat so it is between the piling and the boat bumpers. The boat bumpers keep the fender board away from the boat, and the piling rubs the fender board. This is a cheap and easy way to protect the boat.

Boating Safety = EPIRB…&...DSC...&...GPS

EPIRB stands for Emergency Position Indicating Radio Beacon. When activated manually or automatically activated upon immersion, the EPIRB sends out a distress radio signal that is picked up by the international satellite system for search and rescue (SAR). Signals are monitored worldwide and the location of the distress signal is triangulated

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EPIRBs are not cheap. They start about $250.00 and go up. A boat or boater in distress on a body of water is almost impossible to see and hard to find. The distress signal helps in locating a boat and or a boater quickly.

The GPS track and chart plotters can also help locate you in a mayday situation. When the GPS is interfaced with your VHF radio you can get DSC functionality. (a function that provides the Coast Guard  with your location and identification automatically when a mayday call is made). Any boat that goes out in open water should have a GPS/VHF radio pair with DSC functionality and a  EPIRB, if possible.

Many track and chart plotters can automatically remember the course you follow without having to input each turn manually. They can also tell you what speed you are going, the time it will take to get to the next point, estimate the time it will take to get to your end point and all sorts of other neat things. They can let you navigate at night or in fog when the visibility is low. Your VHF radio and GPS with DSC (distress call) functionality and a EPIRB are all things an off shore boater should consider having.